CUNNING COVER REVEAL

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•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´ ♥«´¨`•°..CUNNING.°•´¨`»♥´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´

♥«´¨`•°..COVER REVEAL IS FINALLY HERE!..°•´¨`»♥

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CUNNING... the second book in Aleatha Romig's INFIDELITY series...

Begins where BETRAYAL ends...with NEW RULES...

SYNOPSIS:

"He owns you. Whatever he tells you to do you do".

One year. No future. A past that won't go away.

Lennox "Nox" Demetri broke his own rule by making a deal. It may not have been directly with the devil, but that doesn't mean Satan himself isn't watching. Was it fate that brought Charli into his life and his bed? What will happen when rules are broken and secrets are revealed?

"New rules...my rules."

Alex "Charli" Collins found pleasure with Nox like she'd never known. That was before she knew his last name. Now that Infidelity is involved and the rules have changed, what will result when real life and fantasy collide?

Is it really cheating if you're doing it to yourself?

From New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Aleatha Romig comes a sexy, new dominant hero who knows what he wants and a strong-willed heroine who has plans of her own. With classic Aleatha Romig twists, turns, deceptions, and devotions, the depth of this new, epic dark romance reaches new levels and will have readers swooning one minute and screaming the next.

Have you been Aleatha'd?

CUNNING is a full-length novel, 360 pages, and the second of five books in the INFIDELITY series.

Infidelity - it isn't what you think.

EXCERPT:

I did my best to appear nonchalant as the bellman used my key to open the door of the executive suite. As he flipped the switch in the dark entry, I scanned the luxurious suite. Beyond the light illuminating the foyer, the furnishings appeared modern and sleek, while the walls were covered in heavy drapery keeping the late afternoon sunlight at bay.

"Ma'am, I apologize," the bellman said as he hurried across the living room. "Your suite has a spectacular view. Let me open—"

His feet and words stopped. My heart leapt to my throat. Stepping from a darkened doorway was a man who immediately dominated the executive suite.

"Sir, I didn't know that anyone..."

I no longer heard the man in the Mandarin uniform. Nox was all I saw. His silence filled the air muting anything else. His pale eyes narrowed capturing mine. Without words his icy gaze bore through me, planting my feet and sealing my lips. Displeasure radiated from his every pore. Rage rippled from his chiseled jaw as the muscles in his face and neck flexed. My knees grew weak as I realized this wasn't the man I remembered, but rather the man whose voice I'd heard on my call.

Only minutes earlier there had been so many things I'd planned to say and questions that consumed me. Yet, now, with Nox before me, none of them surfaced or made their presence known; instead the suite warmed as my heartbeat raced. I gripped tighter to my purse. With the winds of his displeasure swirling about the suite, I needed an anchor, something to ground me. 

PRE ORDER LINKS:

CUNNING:

iBooks: http://apple.co/1LGqX0o

Kindle: http://amzn.to/1Jz5XHi

Begin BETRAYAL today. Meet Nox Demetri, and be ready for CUNNING:

BETRAYAL:

Kindle: http://amzn.to/1jkNDg8

Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1NCshaU

B&N: http://bit.ly/1L7o4Z5

iBooks: http://apple.co/1LGqUBE

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1L9xgMA

BETRAYAL TRAILER: 

CONSEQUENCES IS FREE!

Did you know that Aleatha Romig's FIRST book, the book that became the phenomenon is FREE? 

If you  haven't started the EPIC journey of Anthony Rawlings and Claire Nichols...do it now!!

Consequences is featured today on KINDLE FREE books...

Check it out as well as other great FREE books!

KINDLE FREE BOOKS

LIVE!!! BETRAYAL IS LIVE!!!

BETRAYAL, book #1 of Aleatha Romig's NEW Dark Romance Series is LIVE!!!

Buy Links:

KINDLE

iBooks

B & N

Amazon Print

BLURB:

One week. No future. No past. No more.

Alexandria Collins has one week to live carefree—no ghosts of her past or pressures of her future haunting her. Reinventing herself as "Charli," she is knocked off her feet by a sexy, mysterious man who brings her pleasure like she never imagined.  With her heart at stake, she forgets that decisions made in the dark of night reappear in the bright light of day.

"Some of my tastes are unique. They aren’t for everyone. I understand that.”

Lennox "Nox" Demetri is wealthy, confident, and decisive--he knows what he wants. From the first time he sees Charli at an exclusive resort, he knows he wants her. Although he is usually the one to make the rules, together they agree on one:  

One week. No more.

When betrayal comes from those closest to Alexandria, she must decide how far she is willing to go to survive. Choices are not always easy, especially when they involve the heart, body, and soul. After all, Infidelity is a business, and some rules are meant to be broken.

"Is it really cheating if you're doing it to yourself?"

From New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Aleatha Romig comes a sexy, new dominant hero who knows what he wants, and a strong-willed heroine who has plans of her own. With classic Aleatha Romig twists, turns, deceptions, and devotions, this new epic dark romance will have readers swooning one minute and screaming the next. Have you been Aleatha'd?

BETRAYAL is a full-length novel and the first of five in the INFIDELITY series.

COMING SOON!

EARLY REVIEWS ARE COMING IN....

Betrayal, book #1 of Aleatha Romig's Infidelity series is...

 "Enthralling and brilliant, Betrayal  had me in a permanent state of anticipation. And I loved every minute of it." ~ Jodi Ellen Malpas #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of This Man

"Simply captivating. Romig pulls you in from her first page and leaves you wanting for more long after the last page is read." ~ K. Bromberg, New York Times Bestselling author of The Driven Series

EXCLUSIVE e-presales: iBOOKS  

Or, if you want to touch and hold Nox on October 13

PRINT presales: AMAZON PRINT

BETRAYAL - PROLOGUE

Book 1 of the new INFIDELITY series is coming on October 13th...

Are you ready for BETRAYAL?

The following is copyright protected by Aleatha Romig. Do not copy or reproduce. If you want to share, please send your friends to this blogspot. Thank you for respecting the hard work and rights of this author.

Prologue

Present

The giant oak trees parted, giving way to the flood of sunlight. If it weren't for my sunglasses and the tinted windows, the saturation would be blinding. The effect was undoubtedly the intention of the designers and architects when they mapped out the plantation centuries ago. The shadowed lane—quiet, secluded, and draped in Spanish moss—was a prelude to the crescendo of Georgia blue sky spotlighting the splendor of the manor. Each inch up the cobblestone drive tightened the muscles in my neck and back, reminding me of the appropriate posture for a Montague.

No matter how many times I told myself that I was no longer the child trapped within the iron gates or that I was a competent woman who’d recently graduated summa cum laude, the little girl’s voice inside of me repeated the mantra I've known since the beginning of time: some things never change. The closer we got to the giant house, the more I tensed, my years of separation slipping away as my confidence threatened to dissolve.

The original structure had burnt in the late 1800’s. According to family lore, though it was considered stately in its heyday, by current standards the original home would barely suffice for a guesthouse. The current Montague Manor was now one of the most admired mansions in the Deep South. Where others saw beauty, I saw a prison and loss of innocence.

Willing my jaw to unclench, I reminded myself again that this was only a visit—temporary at that. It had been almost four years since I’d graced Montague Manor with my presence, and if it hadn’t been for my mother’s invitation—correction, summons—I wouldn’t be here now.

“Miss Collins?”

Lost in my own thoughts and memories, I’d missed the stopping of the car and the opening of the door. Turning toward the sound of my name, I saw, framed in sunlight with his hand extended, my stepfather’s driver, Brantley Peterson. The older gentleman had worked for my family for as long as I could remember. Though I barely recalled a time before my mother married Alton, I knew from stories that Brantley had been here then too. He’d worked for my father just as his father had worked for my grandfather, Charles Montague II.

“Miss Alexandria?” he said. “Your parents are waiting.”

Taking a deep breath, I moved my legs outside the car, purposely avoiding his offer of help. “Just Alex, Brantley.”

“Not forever, miss. In no time you’ll have ‘counselor’ in front of your name.” A hint of a smile emerged. The rarely visible emotion threatened to crack the façade of his aloof veneer as his cheeks rose and the deep-set wrinkles brought on by age multiplied near his gray eyes. “Your mother is very proud. She tells everyone how you were accepted to both Yale and Columbia to study law.”

Rubbing my moist palms against my jeans, I looked up—and up—at the pristine walls, spotless windows, and large stately porches. In another place, another time, I would have thanked Brantley for his compliment. I may have even confessed that I was also proud of my accomplishments, but more than that, I would admit to being pleased to hear that my mother still spoke about me, acknowledged that I was her daughter.

The relentless Georgia sun upon my skin and humid air within my lungs confirmed that this wasn’t another place or time. The years of Montague training suppressed any advancement I’d since made in becoming Alex Collins, a real individual with thoughts, feelings, and dreams. In merely the time it took to pick me up at the Savannah airport and drive me into the past, I was once again, Miss Alexandria Charles Montague Collins, the flawless proper lady, pretentious to the help, and people pleaser—the well-bred Southern belle who wore the mask of perfection because no one wanted to see the truth underneath.

It didn’t matter that this was the twenty-first century—not to the bluebloods. This was and would always be the world where appearances were essential. The secrets that darkened the corridors and doorways were forever left unspoken.

The movement of the curtain on the second floor caught my eye. It was so fast that I could have easily missed it. I may have, were it not for the interior location of the window: it was my old bedroom—a place I loathed more than any other.

With his stoic poise returned, Brantley asked, “Shall I take your bags to your room?”

I swallowed. “Not yet. I haven’t decided if I’m staying.”

“But, miss, your mother—”

I lifted my hand dismissively—something I would never have done in California. “Brantley, I’ll let you know my plans once I know them. In the meantime, keep the car in the drive and leave my bags in the trunk.”

Nodding, he murmured, “Yes, miss. I'll be here.”

He always was.

Did that make him part of the problem or solution?

Biting the inside of my cheek, I gracefully made my way up the cement path.

Why did I come back?

Welcome to the world of Infidelity...be prepared to ONE-CLICK on October 13 EVERYWHERE.

Exclusive pre-sales and sample available on: iBooks

BETRAYAL EXCERPT

Welcome to Betrayal, book #1 of the Infidelity series...

Exclusive excerpt... unedited and copyrighted by Aleatha Romig and Romig Works, LLC...

Meet Nox...

I'd tried to recall exactly what he'd looked and sounded like earlier that day. But with each passing hour the recollections had become embellished in my mind. I recalled the sun behind his head now as a radiating glow. His voice, deep and stirring, in my memory rolled like thunder, fluttering my tummy while melting my insides. His chest wasn't just muscular, it was sculpted, and I no longer just remembered the sight of his dark hair and slight facial stubble. Now, my skin tingled at the thought of its touch—so real, as if I'd felt it against the most sensitive of my parts.

When I stepped past the woman and exited the glass doors, my breathing hitched.

I hadn't embellished, not really. With the orange glow of the setting sun sending prisms dancing off the waves below, the man casually leaning against the rail was everything I'd imagined and more. Despite the ocean breeze, his casual stance, the way one hand lingered in the pocket of his pants while the other held tightly to a tall fluted glass of light colored liquid, filled me with warmth.

I was glad that Chelsea had talked me into wearing a dress and that I'd insisted on wearing panties. As he stood to walk toward me, the light gray suit coat he wore moved effortlessly accentuating his shoulders and forming a V to his trim waist. If I'd thought he was handsome in his swim trunks, he was even better in a silk suit. The white shirt he wore was unbuttoned at the neck and his strong jaw was covered with just a hint of stubble. Whoever this man was, he wore the combination of casual and class with ease.

I remained still as his grin grew and he scanned me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Just like earlier at the pool, the gaze of his light blue eyes burned my skin, sending a rush of heat and leaving goose bumps in its wake. I found myself lost in the paleness of his eyes, like pools of liquid, I imagined drowning in their depths, and then, they settled on mine.

"Welcome, Charli, with an I. I'm very glad you accepted my invitation." Flutters like butterfly wings filled my tummy as I searched the horizon for clouds of an impending storm. There were none. It was him. His voice did roll like the low rumble of thunder. 

Coming October 13...are you ready????

ARE YOU READY FOR A NEW SERIES FROM ALEATHA ROMIG?

Are you ready for a NEW HOT series from the author of the CONSEQUENCES series?

Well...move over Tony Rawlings, Nox Demetri is coming to town!!

BETRAYAL is book one of the new INFIDELITY series.

BETRAYAL blurb:

One week. No future. No past. No more.

Alexandria Collins has one week to live carefree—no ghosts of her past or pressures of her future haunting her. Reinventing herself as "Charli," she is knocked off her feet by a sexy, mysterious man who brings her pleasure like she never imagined. With her heart at stake, she forgets that decisions made in the dark of night reappear in the bright light of day.

"Some of my tastes are unique. They aren’t for everyone. I understand that.”

Lennox "Nox" Demetri is wealthy, confident, and decisive--he knows what he wants. From the first time he sees Charli at an exclusive resort, he knows he wants her. Although he is usually the one to make the rules, together they agree on one:

One week. No more.

When betrayal comes from those closest to Alexandria, she must decide how far she is willing to go to survive. Choices are not always easy, especially when they involve the heart, body, and soul. After all, Infidelity is a business, and some rules are meant to be broken.

"Is it really cheating if you're doing it to yourself?"

From New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Aleatha Romig comes a sexy, new dominant hero who knows what he wants, and a strong-willed heroine who has plans of her own. With classic Aleatha Romig twists, turns, deceptions, and devotions, this new epic dark romance will have readers swooning one minute and screaming the next. 

Have you been Aleatha'd?

BETRAYAL is a full-length novel and the first of five in the INFIDELITY series.

Be ready to begin this NEW epic journey...OCTOBER 13, 2015 . Be ready to one-click everywhere October 13, 2015.

It is with a heavy heart I also announce that Duplicity has been put on indefinite hold. I know the story and I tried to complete it, but quite honestly, the characters in Infidelity wouldn't let me work on it. Their story was too strong. I believe Duplicity will eventually come about. I do not any longer know when. Thank you for understanding. Aleatha

NEW COVER FOR INSIDIOUS

INTRODUCING...

A NEW COVER FOR INSIDIOUS...

Same twisted HOT story...new cover...

Have you taken a trip to the dark side?

BLURB:

Dark desires…Deadly secrets…Devious deceptions…Nothing is exactly as it seems in INSIDIOUS, the new erotic thriller from New York Times and USA Today bestselling author ALEATHA ROMIG! 

When a powerful man is willing to risk everything for his own satisfaction, only one woman can beat him at his own game: his wife. Or so she thinks… 

“Let’s start with you calling me Stewart. Formalities seem unnecessary.” 

Stewart Harrington is rich, gorgeous, and one of the most powerful men in Miami. He always gets what he wants. Anything is available to him for the right price. 

Even me. 

Being the wife of a mogul comes with all the perks, but being Mrs. Stewart Harrington comes with a few special requirements. I’ve learned to keep a part of myself locked away as my husband watches me submit to his needs. But the more he demands of me, the more beguiled he becomes and that’s to my advantage. So I keep fulfilling his fantasies and following his rules because he doesn’t know that what he’s playing is really my game. And winning is everything, right? 

INSIDIOUS is a stand-alone novel and the first Tales from the Dark Side title by ALEATHA ROMIG. 


**Due to the dark and explicit nature of this book, it is recommended for mature audiences only. ** 

EXCERPT: 

When I stepped into the foyer, Stewart’s appreciative gaze gave me the strength to continue.

“My darling, you’re stunning.” He leaned near my ear and whispered, “And I hope you’ve followed my instructions.”

Maintaining my need for a semblance of control, I stared into the depth of his eyes and replied, “Yes, Mr. Harrington, to the T.”

He nuzzled my neck. “Then, for good girls, I have a surprise.”

Unknowingly, my eyes drifted to his slacks. His deep laughter filled the entryway. “Yes, I have that surprise, but I believe I’m waiting for someone to ask.”

I fought the reddening in my cheeks. I hadn’t meant to look, but once I did, I recognized how truly close I was to asking.

“Tonight,” he continued, “I have another surprise, before we make our dinner reservations.”

Stewart helped me to the car, where Travis was waiting. As we approached, his driver scanned me up and down, almost as if he knew I was nude beneath my dress. My mind told me it was absurd, nothing more than a combination of paranoia and my overactive imagination.

A little time later, the car came to a stop in front of a well-known, exclusive jewelry store in downtown Miami. The sign near the entrance indicated that the store was closed. Undaunted, Travis opened the car door, and Stewart helped me out. Before I could question his motives, the door to the store opened and a slight gentleman in a very nice suit came our way.

“Mr. Harrington, welcome! And Miss Conway.” He bowed respectively. “I was exceptionally pleased to receive your call. Please, if the two of you will follow me.”

I looked around the interior. Though it was closed for business, the cases were lit and members of the staff stood at the ready awaiting their directions.

“Would you like to peruse our cases, or would you prefer to see the private collection?”

Stewart didn’t hesitate. “Alfred, the private collection. I don’t want my wife wearing a ring that just anyone could purchase.”

A ring? I tried to keep the look of shock from my face. Of course, I’d have a ring. I was getting married. 

BUY LINKS:

iBooks

Amazon Kindle

Barnes and Noble

Kobo

Amazon Print

*At the time of this posting, Amazon had not yet changed the cover. It should be changed there very soon. 

Enjoy a trip to the dark side. **This is a STAND-ALONE Thriller, not a romance**

FREE...FREE...Did I say FREE!

CONSEQUENCES is FREE!

I always said that I'd never do it. I refused to believe that FREE did anything than devalue my hard work. And let me tell you, Consequences is 161 THOUSAND words. It took a YEAR of my life...it was a LOT of work. 

So why did I do it?

Well, Consequences was released in August of 2011. That my dear friends is almost 4 years ago. Since that time my Consequences series has grown. There are now 5 novels and 2 companions. 

CONSEQUENCES, TRUTH, CONVICTED, REVEALED, BEYOND THE CONSEQUENCES and for more Tony, the companions (to be read AFTER the series) BEHIND HIS EYES CONSEQUENCES AND BEHIND HIS EYES TRUTH

The long and short of it is that there are so many amazing books out there and more coming out daily. I wanted to revive my Consequences series so that I can concentrate on writing new and exciting books for you. I hoped that more people would get the chance to meet Tony and Claire! 

In the one month that Consequences has been FREE it has had over 90,000 downloads! That's AMAZING...

And...word is getting out that book #2 Truth is currently on sale. It has always been $4.99 but now it is $2.99. That means there are more and more people meeting Tony and Claire. 

This is NOT perma Free...so please tell your friends. If they haven't met Tony and Claire, now is the time to do it!

Thank you all!!!

~Aleatha 

Links:

CONSEQUENCES

AMAZON

iBOOKS

B & N (Nook)

TRUTH

AMAZON

iBOOKS

B & N (Nook)

COVER REVEAL FOR DUPLICITY!

COVER REVEAL: DUPLICITY

Are you ready for the next TALES FROM THE DARK SIDE?  The second STAND-ALONE thriller in Aleatha Romig's exciting sexy, hot series!  

Well, here it is...

Watch for the blurb...

DUPLICITY...coming late summer 2015!

Currently, preorders are EXCLUSIVELY available on iBooks!

iBooks DUPLICITY preorder

Please let me know what you think!

CONSEQUENCES IS FREE!!!

CONSEQUENCES IS FREE....ebooks EVERYWHERE! 

Did you enjoy Consequences...or hate it, but then had to keep reading? If so, please tell all your friends. For a limited time, book #1 of the Consequences series is FREE!!!

And, because you'll want to know more, book #2 Truth, is on sale for $2.99.

I HAVE THE LINKS!

Do you read on iBooks?

CONSEQUENCES

TRUTH

Do you read on Amazon?

CONSEQUENCES

TRUTH

Do you read on Nook?

CONSEQUENCES

TRUTH

Do you read on Kobo?

CONSEQUENCES

TRUTH

Hello May!

Hello Everyone!

2015 is flying by! At least it seems that way to me! 

I apologize for not being more active with my blog. I wanted to let you all know the reason is that I've been writing.

I hope that when you read the duology (yes, it's really a word, meaning 2 related novels) that you'll love this NEW story as much as I have.

The second book in the duology is almost complete! Literally, I finally figured out the missing element of this story on February 22. Since that time I've written over 175 THOUSAND words! I can't type fast enough.

Now, there are some secret things happening...and once I know more, I promise to share!!!

And in other news, I have a release date for DUPLICITY, the second standalone in the TALES FROM THE DARK SIDE series! Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter and follow me all over the place so you'll know this exciting date as soon as everyone else!!!  I hope you're excited for more of the dark side!!

Also, something big is happening with Consequences next week! 

Thank you all for being patient while I type away!!

Have a GREAT spring and take time to enjoy the beautiful flowers!!

~Hugs,

Aleatha

The Season of Love

Happy Valentine's Day...

Tis the season for love!

I don't know about you, but I've always thought that Valentine's Day was slightly overrated. Perhaps it's because I married my high school sweetheart and if I were to be honest, I've NEVER been blown away by romance on February 14th. BUT...don't send Jeff hateful messages. We've experienced incredibly romantic moments throughout our lives...I just prefer spontaneous verses manufactured.

Truly, when there is one day set aside for all things LOVE there is A LOT of pressure!

As a writer, I've learned to try to see things from ALL perspectives, not just mine, or the female character...

Think about it...what would you like for your "ultimate" Valentine's Day gift?

A card?

Flowers?

Candy?

Jewelry?

Dinner and a movie?

Dinner and a quiet evening at home?

There are many scenarios to chose from and we expect that our significant other will know EXACTLY the one we want...

And what if you don't have a "significant other"? What does that say about Valentine's Day???

Instead of lamenting our less than stellar celebrations or our lack of that someone special, I suggest getting lost in a book or perhaps a movie...(I think there's one coming out on February 12th that may put people in the mood for love).

Instead of all the pressure to make February 14th the day about love, I'd like to enjoy those moments when they come. A walk along the beach, hand in hand. Watching our children all together enjoying one another. Quiet times reading before bed. Watching TV or a movie and being content...Times spent laughing with friends until I cry.

Love isn't always about romance, love is the feeling you get that makes your body tingle knowing that you're accepted and valued. Whether that is with friends, a significant other, your children, your pets, or even by yourself with your favorite fictional characters...embrace it! own it!

And when you do...Valentine's Day can be EVERY DAY...because...love is more than one day!

To all of you...happy perpetual love day!!

ATTENTION: Eaters, cooks, chefs, waiters, waitresses, restaurant managers, and owners!

A Note to anyone who owns, works, or frequents eating establishments:

First, let me clarify. Though I am an author (I have eight books to my credit, so I feel confident using that term) and a licensed dental hygienist (educated and licensed in the state of Indiana) I feel I am qualified to write this post.

After all, I eat everyday. 

By definition: eat (verb)
1. put (food) into mouth and chew and swallow it.
synonyms: consume, devour, ingest, partake of; gobble (up/down), wolf (down); swallow, chew, munch, chomp; informal guzzle, nosh, put away, chow down on, tuck into, demolish, dispose of, polish off, pig out on, scarf (down)

Rest assured, I'm not new at eating. I'm nearly 50 years old. I have been eating everyday of my life. To explain that further, 49 years and 6 months equals roughly 18,079.5 days. (Since I've already eaten today, we could probably round that up to 18,080 days!

By all standards I'm an expert.

As a said "expert" I feel it is my duty to inform you what is right and what is wrong with eating establishments. Rest assured that I'm confident that MY opinion is shared by most if not ALL people who "eat".

Therefore, I suggest you listen carefully.

1. UTILIZE BUZZERS:

As a patron I find it offensive when you ask me my name upon entering your establishment. That practice is a blatant and inconsiderate offense. By offering you my name aloud and then later having you call my name out to the masses, you are jeopardizing my right to not only anonymity, but you are also compromising my identity.

Any person in the vicinity can "hear" my name which puts me at risk for identity theft.

If this practice is utilized at your restaurant, know that I will remove your place of business from my list of acceptable establishments.

FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR PATRONS PERSONAL SECURITY, UTILIZE THE LITTLE BUZZERS.

And when you hand that buzzer to me, do not request my name; instead, ask me a random identifying question.

Let me help: "Thank you, miss, for your patronage. To identify YOU with this buzzer, please tell me the name of your first pet."

You can see how much better that will work.

Then, if I don't answer to my buzzer, instead of announcing my name to the masses, you can simply call, "Tinkerbell" "Tinkerbell" "Will Tinkerbell party of five please approach the hostess desk?"

Just imagine how much safer your patrons will feel.

2. "NEW" SHOULD BE FREE:

When your establishment dares to try new dishes and recipes, do not expect me or anyone else to actually pay to try these new dishes.

This concept is rather self explanatory. These dishes are NEW! They have not been proven and therefore do not warrant compensation. As a matter of fact, I am doing YOU a favor by "trying" this new dish.

Again I will help you: On the menu you should have an entire section dedicated to "new" items. And next to each one of the items the price should say "FREE."

Now, more than likely, if I like the new item, I will give you positive feedback. However, you can rest assured that if I DON'T like the item, I will let not only you but EVERYONE I know about it.

Even though it was free, I spent MY precious valuable time eating that new dish. That could have been thirty to sixty minutes of my life that I will never get back!

THIS CONCEPT APPLIES TO NEWLY EMPLOYED CHEFS OR COOKS:

If your chef or cook has not "established" his or her self at your place of business, I should not be expected to pay full price for their meals.

The hours spent preparing those meals, the ingredients that went into the meals, and even the additional staff that is needed for things such as serving, cleaning, and the like, are insignificant.

Do NOT expect us "eaters" to pay for their "practice".

3. THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE: 

Let me explain to you HOW you should all do your job (remember, I am an expert)

1. Greet me upon arrival. (NOT by name!)

2. Seat me immediately (Yes, you may be a popular restaurant and I may not have a reservation, but I'm the customer. I'm always right)

3. Within the first 30 seconds of my arrival to my table I should be greeted by my server. (again, other customers be damned...this is about me)

4. Do not offer me the "specials" with out a free sample. That is just plain rude. You, nor anyone else, can accurately describe the taste of crepe suzette. I NEED to feel it pass my lips, taste it upon my tongue, and enjoy the sensation of swallowing before I could possibly be expected to make a decision.

5. Bring my requested beverage immediately. (And if I'm unfamiliar with one or two beverages on your menu, see #4)

6. Bring my meal promptly.

7. Check back on my "desired happiness" with said meal. After all, if I DNF I will tell the entire world.

8. See #7, don't do it too much--that's intrusive. Don't do it too little--that's inattentive.

9. Remove empty dishes promptly and refill glasses as needed.

10. Managers / Owners: This restaurant is your "baby" you should ALWAYS be available to the patrons. Do not think that your children, spouse, parents, or anything else is more important. After all, if I message you and you do not respond within a suitable amount of time (I'm not telling you that time period...it's a secret. Good luck with that!) then I will NEVER go back to your restaurant. And again, I will tell the world what an ungrateful owner you are. YOU should remember that I was there the year you opened your doors and now YOU owe me!

11. Do sales! Do a lot of sales. I have other bills. I have other restaurants to frequent. Don't expect me to pay full price for what you have to offer, no matter how unique or good it is.

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As I disappear for a time into my "writing cave" I want you to know that I will continue to eat. I will continue to go out to eat. That is why I felt the need to set the record straight.

I sincerely hope this post helps everyone...eaters included!

You're welcome!

Aleatha Romig ~ expert consumer of food

(The degree to which you are capable of understanding sarcasm will greatly influence your ability to read the true meaning behind this post.)

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